Russell’s Real Lives
Rebuilding broken confidence – Dwayne’s Story
As parents, one of our strongest instincts is that of protection. So when you watch your child’s confidence become increasingly eroded by social anxiety, not only does it have a dramatic impact on them personally, it also affects the whole family. Parents often feel worried that their child is withdrawing from a world they view as overwhelming; the normal life trajectory of growing up and spending time with friends becomes increasingly difficult for them to engage with and this can make parents feel both frustrated and guilty.
When Dwayne Jansz, began to plead with his parents to return to his native Sri Lanka, his mum Rochelle knew something was desperately wrong. For weeks she had watched her son, a sensitive, highly academic high flyer with a passion for science, become increasingly withdrawn. Dwayne had always been a quiet, studious boy, but she had begun to notice that when it came time to go to school his anxiety levels sky rocketed. Though he was reluctant to disclose anything, his mum finally managed to get him to break his silence and reveal that he was finding it hard to fit in and feeling socially excluded by others in his class. He would spend a lot of time on his own, feeling self-conscious and wondering why he was a target.
After all he’d done nothing but try his best and work hard. At that point for Rochelle, everything fell into place. “When your child tells you something like that, it tears at your heart. My lovely, bright warm-hearted boy was becoming increasingly reluctant to go to school and more and more withdrawn. His grades were slipping, which was unheard of before, and he had become a real shadow of the carefree boy we knew before all this.” she says. “Of course my first instinct was to deal with it head on myself, but deep down I knew that if Dwayne was going to overcome these issues once and for all, I had to find a way to empower him. I had been following Russell Hemmings for a year, watching the many successes he’d had with both adults and children in dealing with anxiety and building self-esteem, so I decided to contact him to see if he could help Dwayne.”
From the outset Russell made a deep impression on Rochelle and Dwayne. “What was really wonderful was the fact that even before our first appointment, Russell called me personally so that he could have a private chat and find out more about Dwayne and his situation. This really helped as when he finally met Dwayne, he already had a handle on the situation. Dwayne was quite nervous, but within seconds Russell had put him at his ease and they already had a great rapport. I knew from that moment on things were going to be okay.”
The difference in Dwayne after just a couple of sessions with Russell was marked, recalls Rochelle. “It seemed like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. I could begin to see the old Dwayne again, and although I knew there was a way to go, I began to feel hopeful that we could overcome this together.”
Russell used motivational life coaching to help Dwayne work through all of the emotions he was feeling. He taught him a range of strategies to take control in social situations, so that he didn’t fear them and most importantly he strengthened his self-esteem. “Russell was so helpful. He gave Dwayne a wonderful combination of strategies to get his life back on track. The most important one was giving him the skill to identify people he would get on with socially and then the confidence to be able to initiate conversations. That was something he shied away from beforehand, but the little social tips and tricks that Russell gave him really worked wonders. Russell calls it 'life orientation' and I can see why, because it has sent Dwayne in a new, positive direction."
Now, Rochelle says, she has seen an amazing transformation. “Everybody who knows Dwayne comments on the change in him. He has completely overcome his anxiety, made a new group of friends and is so much more outgoing. This has had a huge impact on his academic results too and his latest grades put him right at the very top of his year. We’re so proud of everything he has achieved and so grateful to Russell for his help. For a long time we didn’t see him smile, but it’s a different story now and that fills my heart with joy. Thank you Russell!”
Russell helped Dwayne with his confidence, social anxiety and 'life orientation' and he can help your youngster too. Please call to discover how.
Russell is a child & teen expert in confidence, concentration, social skills, perfectionism, laziness, gadget addiction, study focus, procrastination and time management.
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